The Many Phases and Realities of Burnout
Over the years, I’ve worked with countless clients who come to me feeling burned out, unwell, or deeply depleted — often unsure how they’ll keep going. For many, stopping or stepping away isn’t an option. They have children to support, financial responsibilities, or what some call “the golden handcuffs” — jobs that offer stability or benefits they can’t easily walk away from. More recently, the uncertainty of the economy and the difficulty of finding new work have only intensified this pressure to endure.
But burnout isn’t a single, uniform experience. It exists on a spectrum, with many different faces and phases.
When Burnout Is Chronic but Manageable
Some people manage to keep functioning through burnout by adjusting their routines, taking time off, or developing healthier lifestyle habits. With care and support, their energy returns, and they gradually build the stamina needed to meet the demands of their work and life again. This kind of burnout is painful but often temporary — a signal that something needs attention and recalibration.
When Burnout Becomes a Crossroads
Others find themselves in the contemplation phase — questioning whether their current career or environment still fits who they are. They may stay for security or familiarity, but a part of them is already imagining something different. Eventually, some reach a point where the internal misalignment becomes too great, and they begin to pursue change, whether that means shifting careers, redefining success, or reimagining how they want to live and work.
When Burnout Reaches the Breaking Point
Then there are those whose nervous systems have been under strain for so long that their bodies and minds can no longer sustain the pace. Sleep becomes disrupted, focus deteriorates, and even small tasks feel overwhelming. They wake up feeling detached, anxious, or heavy — like they’re no longer themselves. For some, this level of burnout requires a full stop: a medical leave, disability support, or significant intervention to help the nervous system recover and re-regulate.
The Roots Beneath the Surface
Burnout doesn’t always begin in adulthood. I’ve worked with many people who grew up parentified — taking on adult responsibilities far too early, often as children of immigrants or in families where they were expected to hold everything together. These individuals often grow into highly capable, conscientious adults — the kind of people everyone can rely on — but beneath their excellence runs a deep, lifelong exhaustion.
Similarly, I’ve seen individuals who have lived their entire lives in a state of high alert. Their anxiety has kept them driven, productive, and vigilant — but it has also disconnected them from rest, spontaneity, and play. This often shows up as intense focus on academics or work, consistently maintaining high performance, and taking on responsibilities so diligently that the desire for fun, creativity, or anything deemed “non-practical” is dismissed. Over time, this constant vigilance wears down the nervous system, leaving them unable to truly relax.
The Common Thread
No matter the phase or story, burnout is more than just depletion. It’s a sign that your nervous system has become dysregulated — that your body and mind are no longer moving in sync. When this happens, your window of tolerance narrows:
Small tasks feel monumental.
Sleep becomes erratic.
Motivation slips away.
You feel anxious, numb, or detached.
Life begins to feel meaningless, and the longing for rest or freedom feels almost unbearable.
You may yearn to do something that brings you alive again — or simply to breathe without the weight of obligation. But that desire can feel painfully out of reach.
When the Body Signals It Needs Care
Burnout is not a personal failure. It’s your system asking for care, recalibration, and connection — a signal that you’ve been carrying too much, often for far too long. Healing begins not by pushing harder, but by learning to listen — to your body, your emotions, and the quieter parts of yourself that still remember what peace feels like.
If any part of this resonates with you, know that you’re not alone — and that burnout isn’t a permanent state. With awareness, compassion, and the right support, it’s possible to restore balance and reconnect with yourself again. If you’re curious about how therapy might support you in navigating burnout or creating sustainable change, I invite you to reach out to schedule a free consultation.
About the author
Chiaki Sasaki, PsyD is is a licensed psychologist in California and New York who helps high achievers move from high-functioning to deeply fulfilled. Her work bridges clinical expertise with cultural depth and mind-body integration.